KGD Trip to Georgia

I got caught up in all the 5k mess that I forgot to tell you about our weekend trip to Georgia a week ago!

Our rep with Interface, a carpet manufacturing company, treated a few of us at KGD with a trip to their company house in Pine Mountain, Georgia. We left Saturday afternoon with a smooth flight, and had an aammaazziinngg steak dinner at a local steak shack. I want to go back so so so bad. We had fried lobster tails, steak cooked perfectly, garlic mashed potatoes, cooked mushrooms and onions, and of course some southern biscuits.

Sunday morning, we woke up with a private chef cooking us a HUGE breakfast! I am not a grits girl, but I couldn't get enough of them! It was raining all day, so the two KGD guys on the trip couldn't play golf, but us girls got to enjoy our spa trip! We spent 3 hours at the spa, drinking lemon ginger water, sitting in the wet and dry saunas, relaxing with our 50 min. massage, and showering afterward of course. I find it hard to fully relax sometimes, but this place made me feel like I had melted and gone to heaven.

Sunday night, Tyrone the private chef, cooked us a genuine southern meal, with "colagreens", cornbread and biscuits, fried chicken, fried salmon (delicious), and macaroni and cheese.

Monday, we toured at the Interface carpet mills all day. We went to 4-5 different locations. The first location was where they stored all the yarns and weaved the carpets. Second was the location where they adhered all the backing to the carpets and cut them into tiles, third was the "awarehouse" where they design carpets for planes and showcased installations of all the carpets. Fourth was the custom carpet studio, where they design all the custom carpets for projects and experiment with new designs and colors, and the final destination was the science lab where they talked about how to clean the carpets, etc. The last was the most boring to me...

Then we headed home to DC. The flight, though, scared me more than anything I've ever experienced. The plane felt like it was dropping a few times, and it was because the clouds were soooo thick. Marshmellow clouds, I call them.

Here are a few pictures of the house we stayed in. It resembled Falling Water to me:

View out the windows:

The house:

Here are some of the tour:

Yarn

Weaving of the carpet

Backing

Warehouse

Custom yarns

Finished product

I learned so much during the tour. It also inspired me to have an interest in other parts of design. I am working in one avenue in the industry, but there are so many others I never knew about. I could see that there is light in the end of the tunnel for me. In other words, if I need to move at any point, I am not limited to what I am doing now, which makes me so happy. My job requires heavy hours, loads of stress and deadlines all with little pay, and needless to say, I don't know if I have a job that you can have a family with...I just can't see the two go hand in hand yet. We'll see :)

Boooring Sunday

I was supposed to go to my friend, Alysha's 21st Birthday party in Palmyra, VA (2.5 hours away) today but have had some sinus funk and a headache since yesterday after my race so I didn't go. I was upset because I feel like I have always been saying no to her in the past year...but it's just timing that's bad for me unfortunately. I guess that comes with the territory of having a full time job, right?

I also asked Anthony if he could understand how I felt in response to the whole him hiking with Motown (yes, I remembered her trail name this time) and he said, "No..." then it got quiet and I said, "Well, if I was in your shoes and you were in mine, would you understand?" and he said, "No...but yea I guess." So that was my answer, and I know that it's a total guy thing. I can just imagine him not even noticing she was a girl, just like I don't think about my best friend being Japanese. Is that even comparable? Anyway, I feel stupid, and I don't want Anthony and my whole conversation being talking about something like this. I think it's just being apart from him that's making me absolutely crazy. CRAZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Fortunately, though, I will be seeing him on Tuesday and I know for a fact all these little feelings will dissipate and I will feel 100000000000x better.

So what did I do to prepare for Anto visiting? I bought him all his favorite foods to indulge in!! Yes, even mayonnaise. (Ew.)

Back to the weekend...

Saturday I ran a 5k Warrior Dash with some coworkers of mine! If you haven't heard of it before, it's a 3.2 mile obstacle course in MUD! It was SO MUCH FUN!! We had to climb over stuff, crawl under barbed wire, slide down a water slide, jump over fire, and swim through a 2-3 ft. pool of mud to the finish line. I loved every minute of it! Here are a few pictures.

Before the race:

Right after the race. The medals were given to everyone as they finished:

All clean and posing like a warrior. To get clean, we had to stand below people with hoses and they just blasted all the mud off us. Haha. Then we got a free beer when we finished, but I was so worn out I could hardly drink it.

The experience was amazing. I had to climb up a few walls with a rope and although I thought I would be scared, I wasn't at all. I surprised myself in that way, actually. I ran by myself a lot of the time, because I felt like I wanted to prove to myself that I can do it by myself without the support of someone else. Well, that and the other girls were going to slow for me!! Haha. I really want to do it again next year!

Explanation Required

I know I'm not alone. I do feel extremely loved, too. I trust Anthony 100000000000%, and that's not why I felt bad yesterday. Preface: I felt bad yesterday.

To preface even more: Tom and Anthony split to do their own things for the next two weeks, leaving Anthony to hike with a girl ...I keep wanting to call her Monty, but I know that's not her trail name. Marmaduke...Monty...Maury...I can't remember.

Anyway, it's not the fact that he's hiking with just her. In fact, I'm really relieved he is hiking with someone else because I know if something happens to him she'll be there to help, and I am also happy that she has a guy to help her remain safe too because she's a young female all by herself on the trail! Scary...

I think the thing that bothered me yesterday when I was at work is to hear they're eating together, sharing this amazing, intimate experience together...and I'm not able to experience even one day of the trail with him. I think I'm feeling bad because part of me wishes that that could be me spending time with him, but also part of me is happy for him for having a companion. I just wish I was his female companion, that's all :) Besides, Anthony said she's practically a dude so that helps me feel better.

I was surprised, and still am, about feeling bad for that though. Thought 1: I should not feel bad.
Thought 2: Why do I feel bad?
Thought 3: I knowww that there are lots of more trail days ahead of Anthony that I can hike too after he gets back. Thought 4: I knowww there will be tons more memories to make after he finishes too. Maybe even better ones... Thought 5: I just can't stop thinking that this is one of the largest milestones of his entire life and I'm not part of it (physically, that is, I am here for support). Finally thought 6: Ateajktheaklttjiotaowtuaiotuwo

Then again, I wouldn't want to be the one digging holes for my poo and eating oatmeal all the time and sleeping with bugs and rodents...

New Apartment!

I am so bad at remembering to write on my blog! I have been doing so much between work, trying to kick start my MK again to keep myself even busier, and I actually just got back in town from Atlanta tonight. I will write more about the Atlanta business trip I went on this weekend when I have pictures of the trip but in the meantime, here are the pictures of my new apartment (sorry it took me so long, Mom). I will have more later, once the weather is nice and I'm home during the day. It's also going to change a lot when my roommate moves in in a couple weeks! First, here are the pictures I took tonight:
Kyra and my front door. Our trash man comes and picks up our trash off our doorstep - how convenient!

Apartment when you enter

Living room

Kitchen

My private bathroom

My bedroom

My bedroom again

My huge closet

And here are the pictures of our amenity areas on the property. They're actually pretty accurate, so I'll show you these instead of ones I take myself:
Front gate

Our lounge area

Grilling outside

Gym

Yoga room by gym

Pool

Hot tub

Townhouses on property

Compared to rent in the area, our place is inexpensive to live in because of the location and vicinity to the train tracks. I've only heard the train once, but it was loud at 3am! The rest of the time, I don't even notice it because of our windows being so thick. Unfortunately, the plumping in our apartment also clicks, but I think that there's nothing to do about that. The property is so homey, though, and it's 1/2 mile away from the Metro stop. There's a shuttle that runs during rush hour to/from the station, which is super convenient! The complex also gives us discounts on the Metro, but now because of the increases in price starting July 1st, it would only benefit my guests that come visit me! I love it here, though. It's so nice to have time between going to work and going home and vice versa to relax and think about things - I find I haven't been bringing my stresses home anymore which is amazing!

Life Update

Good news: I have found an apartment and am signing the lease on Saturday, I think. I also contacted Comcast to switch my service and have officially hired a mover to transport me to my new apartment on the 28th. Bad news: I still have no sublet. This one girl that came yesterday was ALL ABOUT my apartment, and I honestly had such a great feeling about it. I had an ounce of hope in me that this situation really could work out, and then it blew up in my face today when she emailed me saying she didn't want it. Worse news: I have 1.5 weeks to find a replacement or I'm having to pay $1088 extra next month. Better news: I had a nice dinner with Candice, my MK recruiter and friend, and we went to a meeting tonight to amp up our MK spirit and learn some new business techniques. Bad news: I do not feel motivated now. I feel like I need to start my MK business from scratch now. Good news: It's been really nice outside. Bad news: I missed seeing the shuttle fly around DC today. Good news: It gave me a reason to go outside, though. Bad news: I have been feeling more and more and more cramped at my desk at work because of the nice weather. Good news: I had free lunch at a sushi restaurant today with a rep of ours. Bad news: I don't remember her name. Worse news: We have a deadline Friday at work. Even worse news: I cannot focus at work because of how stressed I am about this moving situation. Good news: I have one girl that might still be interested...keeping fingers crossed. Bad news: Amelia isn't a 100% fan. Good news: I told Amelia I needed her to commit because I didn't have any other options right now. Bad news: She got upset and left the room and hasn't talked to me since. Worse news: She's been upset with me since I told her I was moving out. Even worse news: She's been real picky about me finding her roommate "soul mate." I told her I needed her help finding the right person and she said no. Good news: I know inside my new apartment is going to be SO worth it in the end. Bad news: Happiness at my new apartment is being affected by if I need to pay rent at my current place while living there. Worse news: No more savings for me if I need to fund two apartments. Good news: I hope to get a raise soon. Bad news: I don't have any idea when that will be. Good news: I know I am going to be happier in my new apartment in two weeks. Worst news of all: I still have no one to replace me in my current apartment...

HH and funny links

Worked my butt off all weekend, had a hard time focusing today, then had a HH with KGD after work! It is so nice to spend time with people you work with out of the office for an hour or two. Here are some REALLY funny links people sent me today: 1. http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/13-simple-steps-to-get-you-through-a-rough-day 13 Simple Steps to Get you Through a Rough Day and 2. http://hokiehighs.tumblr.com/ I think this is absolutely HILARIOUS and SO TRUE. Might be one of those "you probably wouldn't get it if you didn't go to Tech" situations but they're still funny. Check them out :) Made me smile.

Damn Dog!

I love Belle, yes, but she totally licked my entire block of brie that I was eating for dinner!! I've been going through this phase where I really don't want to buy groceries, so I've been trying to eat whatever I have in the fridge, cabinet, and I've actually been able to get free food at work a lot lately too because of my overtime and leftovers from lunch and learns, haha. Tonight, I am eating the carrots my Mom bought me for the cheese fondue we made together, lettuce with an avocado that she also bought me, and the brie that Tess bought me as a thank you for letting her stay with me this weekend! I also paid Amelia for a beer tonight. I am so lazy.

Well, lazy is relative. I worked a 14 hour day on Thursday, then I worked for 6 hours yesterday, and 5 today. So having the energy to go to the grocery store is half the battle right now. Second part of the battle is wanting to leave the house. Third part is getting the courage to drive my car, which makes this awful squealing noise every time I start it. I know it's my belt, but I don't want to pay the money for it right now... and fourth is not wanting to spend the money because I bought me some Mary Kay products instead this week. HAHA. I really need to be making more money.

I also haven't been sleeping much. I have been goingggoinggoinggoingoigngoingoignoin all day long and stressing hardcore about this move to a new apartment with Kyra that I'm not sleepy when I lie in bed. It's not even that it's the move that stresses me out, it's the fact that we don't have a lease signed or a replacement for me at my apartment that worries me the most. I just don't want to be put into a situation where I'm going to have to pay two months rent at once, especially since I can hardly buy groceries all the time...that would be a really sticky situation, even if I have money saved.

I talked to Anthony last night and it was so nice! He loves it in the outdoors, but has had a few problems with his legs hurting on their hike. I'm glad he's taking a couple days off to rest yesterday and today, though. I can't wait for him to hike up to me :)

Glimmer of hope

After whining on here at on my journal about being sad not talking to Anthony, he called me last night and we talked for a long time! I was so happy to hear from him. He's hiked over 110 miles, and is loving it. He's hiking with three people, each with their own nicknames already but he and Tom don't have them yet. There's Pork Steak, who likes to eat pork steak, who is married to Somersault, who tripped and fell on the trail and did a somersault, and then there's Inspector Gadget, who is always prepared with anything a hiker would ever need! He only got rained on two days, but he said he was staying positive while thinking about how it's nice to have a water supply easily available. One cold night, he slept great because of his fancy schmancy hiking gear, while Tom was freezing and awake all night. They stayed in a motel yesterday and last night, and woke up to get on the trail again. He said that he got a lot of "trail magic" last week, with free pancakes and breakfasts from nearby people!

I am so happy to hear from him and know that even though he's hiking a ton, he's still loving every mile and having lots of good food to eat. He said he's not really looking forward to the stingy northerners, because all the southern people on the trail love helping the thru-hikers so much. Haha.

Anyway, I found the most perfect apartment in the world. OK, it's not perfect. But it's pretty damn close. A pool...lots of living space...huge kitchen...gated property...dog park...yoga studio...huge gym...1/2 hour from the Metro...omg I loved it. Kyra, though, isn't sold yet and it's because it's not too close to a lot of things. I understand completely, but part of me wants to be very honest and just say, "Girl, you're never going to find anything for this price anywhere else." Instead, I said, "I understand if you don't like it, but it's amazing. Let me know what you think." I hope she wants it. Huge closets...balcony...dishwasher...full-sized washers and dryers...bay window...you just can't find those things anywhere for under $1000 a person! Here's the catch. Minus the location not being prime, the complex is right next to the Metro and Amtrak tracks. A bunch of people wrote, "Noisy" on their reviews, but I was on the property during rush hour and hardly noticed the noise. Our building wouldn't be on the tracks, either, which is good. Also, the complex is full of people and dogs, and the fact they allow dogs is huge because a ton of properties up here don't. I hope she comes around! We'll see, though. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. You should cross your fingers too.

SO now I'll talk about work. I hate it right now. I know people go through stages where they hate their jobs, but I hate it. HATE. I hurt just thinking about having to go to work the next day most of the time. It's because I'm coasting and my to-do list is packed full of shit that Interior Designers never have to do. Elevator shaft sections? Garage vestibules? It's just so frustrating. But they say, "Courtney, you have the skills to do this, trust us." But I really wish I could do interiors work. Danielle looked over my shoulder the other day at work and said, "What on Earth are you doing?! I've never had to do that in my entire career." (Career of five years, I believe.) I wish that people would understand that yes, I love KGD, but sometimes I just HATE the work they give me, with an utter, inner, boiling passion. If I had to do these tasks continuously throughout my career, I would definitely switch careers. The long hours, the unhappy people, the low pay...it's enough to scare anyone away from the profession. Brian, my supervisor at work, said, "Did you ever notice that all the Architects in the movie are refined, rich, and look like they sleep every night?" Then he just laughed as if to say, "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight."

If I was to switch careers, though, I wouldn't know where to start. Just like in college when I asked myself, "If you were to switch majors, what would you study?" I never had a good answer, so I didn't ever switch. Some day, I want to love my job. I want to look forward to going to work everyday instead of dreading it. I want to surround myself with optimistic, happy people instead of grumpy, overworked architects. If I was put into a situation where I would have to move to a location that didn't have an Architecture/Interior Design job for me, I would want to bake or be a Mom or go back to school to be a teacher or I would be an event planner. I think those would all be nice. I couldn't afford to go back to school, actually, so that probably rules that one out of my list. Maybe. Maybe if I was to go back to Blacksburg one day, I could get my Masters in Interiors and become a studio teacher and ask students silly questions like, "What is that?" They would say, "It's a box." "No, it's not just a box. What does it mean to you?"
"It's just a box."
"What does it do?"
"It doesn't do anything."
F for you!

Baking sure would be fun to do...everyone loves cakes. And those people who don't like cakes certainly love cupcakes or pies or baked brie or cookies. Everyone likes one of those. Even Ava, who swears she doesn't like sweets! Or Carie, who says she doesn't like cake.

It's 8:09pm on Tuesday. This means New Girl is on at 9! I better get cozy on the couch with some hot chocolate before it comes on!

Weirdest Dream Ever

Last night, I had a dream about an apartment I went to go look at. It was a 3 br/2 ba townhouse and the owners had sets of washers/dryers all over, including in the bedrooms and on the top landing of the stairs. I thought it was strange, but the woman explained that her husband sleeps with layers of wool blankets and each washer/dryer belonged to one of the blankets because they couldn't be washed together.

Naturally, I kept thinking in my dream how expensive their utility bills were! So I told them I would house sit for them when they left for the weekend to get a feel for the house and when they were sleeping that night, I walked in to check the place out again. I noticed one of the washers was plugged in but leaking and flames were starting to form but I just tucked the washer back into the corner because I knew I wasn't supposed to be in there. But I did feel guilty because that could've burned the house down, but I was more concerned about getting caught at the time.

Then I went to look at another place in Old Town, and the Living Room was converted into an indoor lacrosse field so I played with some people I didn't know and then I woke up.

A Long Summer Ahead

I've been keeping pretty busy but at the end of the day, I just get sad. I knew this was going to be a hard six months with Anthony leaving, but I didn't imagine it was going to be this tough. We have been apart since May, yes, but only by location. We talked almost every day, in some way...phone calls...emails...texts...gchats...but now I've been thrown into this whole new world where I only get to see his updates on his fancy hiker GPS.

"Courtney, you should be thankful he even has that." And I am. But why does that mean I had to say Good bye to him altogether? It's only been a week but I am frantically dreading the next six excruciating months. I miss him so much.

I know it's not fair for me to feel this way, though. He has been telling me for months that this was coming. He is experiencing so many new things, learning new skills, meeting new friends, hiking and getting tired throughout the day, so why would I ever expect him to send me a text while on the trail or email me when he's laying in his hammock at night? That's just silly. He's out in the wild to get rid of technology and frankly, the ruined society right now.

So I should just respect his decision, suck it up, and just get over my stupid, irrational feelings, right? As much as I want to be, I just have to get over the fact that I am not a priority right now and that's a hard pill to swallow. I know in my heart that once he is back or the second he gets into a hotel some time, he will call me. But in the meantime, I am waiting.

I hate waiting.

TGIF!

Last night, I kicked my butt doing a P90X workout. So much that I pretty much passed out after laying in bed at 10! ...right after a friend of mine called, actually...

So I've been stressing so much about my living situation and finding a one bedroom, but I knew that it would be hard to commit to anything knowing I wouldn't know where Anthony would be. I hear your comments now. "Courtney, you need to think about you and you alone right now." "Courtney, you can't depend on him right now because he doesn't even know where he'll be." "Courtney Courtney Courtney." Well, I would tell all of you that you have legit feelings, but I am following my heart and my heart is wherever Anthony is. ...except maybe hiking on the AT. I don't think it would want to hike 2100 miles in six months!

Anyway, a call from this friend, her name is Kyra, surprised me to say the least. She is looking for a roommate to live with her until her boyfriend, Shawn, moves in in December. I really really like Kyra, and I really like Shawn. I also would know where Anthony would be and I can take it one day at a time after that. Truly though, I also wouldn't mind living with both Shawn and Kyra if it ever came to that, as long as they didn't mind, haha! I think Anthony would be surprised at this decision because of how much I've been looking forward to getting a one bedroom apartment up here. But honestly, I just can't afford it comfortably and sign a huge lease by myself not knowing if I'm going to stay. So I am moving out and into another apartment May 1st!

Besides that, I have been so sore from my workout that I've felt like I have had a fever and tons of bruises all day. I keep thinking what Anthony is feeling right now, because at least I'm not hiking 15 miles a day with 35 lbs on my back! I got nothing done at work today, but we did go on a tour to IBS Millwork. Great company, such nice people, I loved it there! Then I came home and Maria's in town visiting! I really wanted to go see the cherry blossoms but I think that it's supposed to rain all day, and I wanted to see Hunger Games, but it's all sold out in DC! UGH!! Oh well :)

Second Thoughts

Today, I felt so good about the moving situation. I honestly feel like Foxchase is everything I wanted and more for an apartment. Unfortunately, when I went to ask one of my Principals at work about the location, he said, "I would be scared of the commute." Of course, the subject of money came up and me being my too-honest self said, "I can't afford to live up here." Hahaha. Why did I have to say anything? Anyway, besides that issue, he said, "I would advise you to be careful about that big commute. Maybe you should try it for a day." That's a great idea, honestly. I could drive down to Alexandria one day, take the shuttle and then the Metro then ride to work and see how it is. ...

OR I could look for another apartment. Those apartments run $1100 + electricity + gas + commuting. I wouldn't be able to save any money for the next few months but it's such a great quality of life compared to what I have now. ...BUT then there's the possibility of me trying to live in RiverPlace, which is right next to my office (no commute...) and it would be about $1285 a month which would include everything. I'm so conflicted. :( I wish I had someone else to help me with this and find the perfect place for me.

I also showed the apartment off tonight and felt awkward the whole time. She was rushing out of the apartment and was uncomfortable around Belle. More specifically, she didn't like Belle jumping on her. WELL, girlfriend, Belle jumps up. So I emailed her and said, "Maybe this isn't the best situation for you." I have three other girls looking in the next two weeks!

I'm not sure if you've ever heard of P90X but it's an intense 90-day work out regimen to get your butt in shape! Today was day 1 for me and I think my shoulders are going to fall off. Yep. Just fall right off. I learned something about myself today. I suck at push ups! The instructor on the DVD said, "Sometimes, your body can do more than you think it can. So push through it." Riiight. I was struggling! Day 1...haha.

Work work work

Today, I was woken up in the most abrupt way: a huge bolt of light and a loud clap of thunder, followed by constant barking. I'm dog-sitting for Belle while Amelia is in New Orleans, and I guess she's afraid of thunderstorms!! It was around 6:15 am and I just thought I would get up considering my alarm was going to go off soon.

So I headed to work by 8am, and worked my butt off until 6pm. Literally, I didn't leave my desk and I just kept chugging along, crossing things off my list left to right! I made lots of progress, and finished everything in such great timing! Our deadline was today, and we had to send out some drawings to our client by the end of the day today. Success!

Now, I'm just at home watching Cupcake Wars and responding to the many emails I have from people who want to move in to my apartment! I didn't think I would get any responders, well maybe one or two, but today I got four! Haha. Two girls are coming for a tour this week, one next week, and one in May if I don't find anyone to live here by then.

Keep your fingers crossed for me that I can find a good replacement!

Ew. Monday.

Why are Mondays so bad?...

Well, I had a great weekend with Mom. We ate some good food, spend endless hours chatting, did lots of knitting and pearling, I learned to cable knit, and we even went on an apartment tour and did only a little bit of shopping! When she left this morning, I was really really sad...

Today, I spent a lot of time at work and got a lot done. Deadline tomorrow...ew.

Anthony called me tonight too! It was so nice to hear from him. Lots of through hikers with him and Tom, they traveled about 12 miles I think today, and are loving every minute of it! I am sad he is gone, but there's some hope in the fact that every day he gets a little bit closer to me, right?

Honestly, though, I feel a bit guilty for not wanting to hike any of it with them. I don't know how I could without gear, a ride back after hiking a couple days, etc. Besides, I would feel a lot better picking them up to come to my apartment to get showered, eat lots of good food, and rest. I just don't want to look back and think that I didn't experience even a day of hiking with him through his journey. Then again, I know that this is a hobby I could potentially see myself getting into in the future with him, and then I won't feel bad...I hope.

Anyway, I'm in the process of trying to find a person to replace me in my apartment. So far, I have a couple inquiries to come by to see the place, but Amelia is in New Orleans right now so they're not able to meet her yet. That's the complicated part. Ok, just ask it. "Courtney, why are you the one trying to find someone to replace you and not Amelia?" Well, I am looking to move sooner than later (a) and (b) I feel bad for leaving. She always puts up a front to me letting me think she doesn't care about something and in turn, I just don't think much about it. Then, she breaks and comes to me sad and I don't know why but I am always blind-sided by the sudden emotion! I haven't ever dealt with someone like that, and I truly feel bad I don't recognize the real emotion before it erupts. That's kind of my fault. I need to be better about paying attention.

Maria's coming this weekend to stay with me and to go to the Cherry Blossom Festival! I'm really excited, because I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to go with anyone or not. Then Tess comes the next weekend and Easter's the next! Thennn, the next week is potentially one of the weekends I could be moving. HAH! Lots of things to do in the next few weeks!

I can't wait to be in my own apartment, though. There are so many things I am looking forward to, including making my own schedule, decorating how I want to decorate, leaving my mixer on my counter (I know this is crazy but I don't have this opportunity right now because of our small kitchen), I can't wait to have my own place to have people and MK customers over, etc. I am kind of nervous about my long commute from Alexandria. I'm anticipating two scenarios. One: a 15 minute shuttle to the Metro and a 45 minute Metro ride to Rosslyn. Two: Metro bus to Ballston and a 15 minute Metro ride to Rosslyn. Either way, it's almost an hour commute. In a way, I am glad this will give me the opportunity to read my Kindle. However, I am nervous about those days I will need to work late, etc. If I end up making more money in the future and I still live in the same place, I could actually drive to work and pay a bit more for my commute. Maybe not, though. We'll see I guess! I just have such a good feeling about the complex and the commute is just one little snag in the plan. I like my job, and now I'd like to LOVE my living situation. Anthony always tells me: some of your happiness is because of your job, but most of it is because of your home life, which includes family time.

Tomorrow's deadline is going to come soon, so I am going to get plenty of rest to prepare for it! Good night.

Anthony's Finally Off!

Anthony's finally gone to Georgia to start his 2,000 mile journey on the AT! It's March now, so I assume he'll be up in my area in May/June, and finish in August/September. I know it's something he's wanted to do for years, and something he wanted to do before starting a career, which I think is really admirable. If he wasn't to do it now, there wouldn't really be a better time. Years of preparation and months and months to wait for it...I can't even imagine what it'd be like. As much as I'd like to join for a couple days to walk with them, I know I don't have the gear or motivation to do it (sorry Anthony). I'm going to plan to pick him and Tom up when they get around my area in Front Royal to bring them back to shower and eat before heading back...

Did you know that a lot of people quit hiking on the first day because the first 9 miles leading to the trail are so strenuous? Those 9 miles aren't even considered part of the trail! Haha. Imagine...going through so much mental and physical "training" to build yourself up to hike and quitting in the first day?? That's almost embarrassing.

Anyway, in the meantime, I have been apartment searching! Not too hard, but I did go on a tour today and fell IN LOVE with a complex! It's called Foxchase in Alexandria. It's at the very top of my price bracket, but I'd be on my own and there's a free shuttle to the Metro that leads to work. I can read my Kindle on the way to work, which is really nice. The apartments I have been looking at are ones that have a one bedroom arrangement, with a washer/dryer in the building. Four pools...three fitness centers...an on-site Leasing Office with maintenance...free parking for guests on the street outside, etc. I can't believe it. It just seems too good to be true! I love my job, and now I think it's time to love my life outside of work. I can't wait to sign my new lease!

Computer Fail!

My computer charger died! So I am at work, shhh, letting you know I won't be writing for a while until I get either a) a new charger for the computer or b) that iPad I've been wanting. B won't happen until end of March, but maybe I can come into the office sometime on a weekend to write on here for you. Talk to you soon!

Misunderstanding

I almost forgot to tell you: what I heard my coworker say on Wednesday was not intended to be about me. I understood it that way, and I got really really upset about it, but I confronted them about it and they apologized profusely, saying that they were talking about someone else in the office. Amelia immediately asked me, "Do you believe it?" and I absolutely do. I know I do good work and I work hard, and that's all I needed was that apology for me to really believe that again.

2012 January Jump

Courtney, what was January Jump?! It was a seminar-type event full of very peppy, enthusiastic, optimistic, encouraging Mary Kay women, speaking to us Mary Kay minions about how to motivate ourselves to be great in life.

What I took from it was not what they expect, I don't think. I don't want to be a director right now. That is not my goal. If I had a family, children, a home, a stable life, I think I could imagine myself wanting their job. Not right now, though, and that's okay. I heard so many stories, motivational quotes, and got so many hugs that honestly, by the end of the day, my head was spinning spinning spinning and my head hurt. Ha ha.

Cindy Bliss, a Director, really spoke to me when she got up on stage. She said, "I have never liked girls. I owned my own Construction company, so what was I thinking joining Mary Kay?? I left my six-digit job to do Mary Kay full time, and now, I thank myself every day for it." I can relate to her in a way, because although I am a girly girl myself at times, I can't stand girl drama or girl problems. It's too much for me!

We watched a YouTube video next called "Life=Risk." It's really powerful. If you haven't seen this yet, I strongly recommend it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBUm-I2X1cA

Then, an Executive Senior Sales Director, got on stage and really spoke to me. She has such a past that I didn't expect, and she was really encouraging to me. One of her sons was diagnosed with cancer at a small age and her family was put into quarantine for almost two years. During that time, she did not touch Mary Kay once, and still make $152K a year on commission. Her whole belief with Mary Kay is "If you work really hard now, Mary Kay will take care of you when you need it most."

These are a few things she said:

"If something isn't working for you, it's probably because you're not working for IT."

"Never take advice from someone you wouldn't trade places with." THIS one was the one quote that stuck out in my head the entire day.

"Commitment is continuing even though you don't feel like it."

"If your family and loved ones are healthy, happy, and you still feel like you're going through a crisis, it's actually JUST an inconvenience. So get over it!"

Then another Executive Senior Sales Director got on stage and gave another speech. Here's what I took from her's:

"Why are you fearing failure?"

"The size of a woman is determined by the size of the obstacle that stops her from continuing down her path."

"We underestimate the power of the uncomfortable."

"Pain has no memory. Give it purpose."

We ate lunch as a unit with my Director, Lindsay Pryor, and received my Mary Kay watch for reaching $1800 in sales from August-December!



Beautiful! I love it so much, because a watch really symbolizes success to me. I don't know why, but a business man/woman who wears a nice watch seems so put together. I think I associate that with Mom and Dad wearing their best watch to their best meetings/get togethers, and when I started my job at KGD, Anthony got me a white watch with little rhinestones like this one and I have worn it every single day. And this black watch is special to me because I earned it for free from the company!

After lunch, we sat in on four mini lectures from Directors.

1. Lindsay Pryor: Shoot to Win

"Do not worry about what is not in your control."

She spoke a lot about booking, how to get more appointments, etc.

"BE CREATIVE. HAVE FUN."

2. Deanna Palko: Championship Selling

"Mary Kay sells itself." Very true.

She said something that made me laugh really hard. She described how sometimes we put our Mary Kay items in just a plastic bag to deliver to our customers. When we go to a store to buy underwear and they slip it into a plastic bag, we put it under our arm to not show anyone what we bought. If we were to spend a bit more effort wrapping our deliveries with tissue paper and make them look pretty, it's like going to Victoria's Secret and getting a really nice pink bag with tissue paper. It makes you want to show everyone and say, "I got some paaaaaaaaaanties!!" Ha ha.

She also told us how to sell better to people, like which words to emphasize and how to really be liked.

3. Amber Brown: How to Kick a Field Goal

"Learn how to dream."

She asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up when we were little. I thought really hard and came up with two ideas: a figure skater and a writer for American Girl.

She also asked us a very powerful question that I think we should ALL ask ourselves periodically:
"If you knew you would NOT fail, what would you start doing TODAY?"

"You miss 100% of the shots you do not take" - Wayne Gretzky

Five parts to a successful goal:
S pecific - who, what, where, when, why, how
M easurable - how much, how will I know when it's done
A ttainable - any goal is possible, but make it realistic - that's what's attainable
R ealistic - be willing and ready to meet your goal
T imely - give yourself time to meet your goal, make a time frame

"If a goal you make doesn't make your tummy hurt and your head spin, set a higher goal. Think: I can't sleep until I do this."

"I looked for it, but someday is not on my calendar!"

"Get rid of the miserable things in your life."

"You need to prove you can do it before gaining support from the people around you."

"You must sacrifice some things to make things happen."

"Work now, play later."

4. Katie Tylka: Drowning Out Doubt

"People do not decide their future. They decide their habits."

"Clarify your vision and your outcome will change."

"It doesn't have to be pretty. It just has to be done."

Finally, Moleda Dailey got on stage once more and explained to us the 10 things she knows for sure:

1. Never give up.
2. Never be afraid to shout your goal to the world.
3. Work. Don't worry.
4. You are who you hang out with.
5. Nothing is as bad as you think it is and nothing is as good.
6. Know what you want out of life and don't fear it.
7. Work not, play later.
8. Successful people use their families as an excuse to be successful, not a reason not to be.
9. Stay connected.
10. If it is to be, it is up to me.

At the very end of the day, they said, "Write your goals on a postcard, and your Director will send it to you as a reminder later!" I saw people writing frantically to fill up their white space. I looked at mine, looked at my pen, looked at my postcard, back to my pen...I couldn't come up with one goal. I was still absorbing all of the pieces of advice I heard throughout the day, and to be honest, I don't know what I want right now! I told her I needed to go home and really think about my goals. So that's what I'm going to do...but I have a hunch that my goals don't have a ton to do with Mary Kay right now.

Can't sleep

I can't sleep. After all the whining and complaining from me about how tired I always am and how I need to sleep more, I can't get my eyes to close and when I do close them, they shiver continuously because of all the thoughts rushing through my head.

I'm thinking about why I'm still thinking, though...I am still bothered by that awful comment I heard last night at work, but I am also thinking it's because of the awful noise Amelia and I keep hearing in our apartment. It's happened every night for the past 4 nights (except for tonight, of course), and it's absolutely terrifying. It sounds like a huge semi truck running into our apartment. You are probably thinking it sounds like a brick wall crashing. No. It's more of that engine rumbling behind your car on the highway when they're wanting to pass you when you're going to slow for them. Anyway, I know I shouldn't be scared of just a noise, but it's loud enough to wake us up when we're in deep sleep AND keep us up for fear it would happen again. I think that's partially why I'm still up: I'm afraid of hearing that noise. We've told the maintenance people twice, and the leasing office twice, and what has anyone done to help us? Diddly squat! Nothing. I mean, what're they supposed to do???

So Amelia and I stayed up one night to listen for it, and it sounds like the pipes or something that are connected to the people above us' shower, so whenever they come home at night to take one, the noise happens. That's pretty much the only reasonable explanation for it, honestly. Oh, and now my light is flickering. That definitely doesn't help this fear, haha.

Another reason I think I'm still awake is because of work. I have been waking up at 7-7:30am every morning, work until 12, eat lunch for a half hour or sometimes just work through lunch, and going home any time between 7:30-10pm. I haven't had much time to myself, and the time I have is spent relaxing to get ready to go to sleep! It's a vicious cycle. I wish I didn't have to work so much and I wish I had more time to spend doing things I want to do more of, like baking and cooking, maybe painting, jewelry making, writing, possibly get into reading, and do things I need to get done, like go to the dry cleaners, do my laundry, sort through my clothes to get rid of things to the Goodwill, clean my bathroom, etc. It's frustrating to work so much and then go home and not have any energy to do anything or see anyone.

That's another thing, too. I haven't really made many friends up here still. I've met lots of people, but they're also so busy and I feel awkward always being the one to initiate dinners, coffee dates, etc. I haven't talked to any of the new people I have met for a couple months now, and I think it's (a) because of the holidays, of course, but (b) because I haven't initiated anything with them. MINUS Srun. Srun is always asking me to do things with her and explore new things, like cooking classes making takoyaki and yakisoba, ha ha. I see her every day at work, though... I wish I had a friend that I was comfortable enough to just have over for dinner and fun enough to go out to get drinks after work. I have found nice people, people who like to eat lunch in Rosslyn throughout the week, and I have found people who like to drink. But I haven't found a friend yet that shares the same interests as me, have the same goals/outlook/morals...it's just hard to find.

It's comparable to people looking for love, I think. Finding that one person that I love wasn't difficult for me...but then again I lucked out and skipped the whole awkward first dates and the "who is going to pay for this expensive dinner??" conversations and the "I wonder what I need to wear or give him to impress him??" stuff. It was easy for him to ask me to be his girlfriend seven years ago: "Wanna go out?" Imagine if someone asked a girl out when they're in their 20's like that. And BTW: DUH I said "yea!" but we never really went out on a date for a while after. We both were broke, so we never really went anywhere, and the only things we did together for a while is ride together to/from school, sit together at lunch, talk on the phone, and maybe see each other here and there between classes. Ohhh, so simple!!

SO I apologize to all my future girl friends: I have failed to explain everything in regards to dating. I pretty much skipped all that stressful "omg omg omg" stuff that you dwell on all the time! "Courtney, did you kiss on your first date?" "Well, I'm not really exactly sure when our first date happened." "Courtney, when do you move past that awkward dating phase to being comfortable with them?" "I was always comfortable with Anthony...we were always good friends growing up." You see? Every question asked comes with no answer! Now, don't take this the wrong way. I AM SO HAPPY I skipped ALL of that stuff!

Wait, I think I went on a tangent. I apologize. Back to my friends. I wish I had a friend! When I am upset, I call Anthony. He's the one person who can motivate me to stop sobbing and think about something positive. When I need advice, I go to my Mom. She knows just what to say because she's probably been there, done that, and has a lot to say about some situations I've gone through. If I have a big idea about something, I usually go to Anthony too, or Lacey, because they both get really excited with me. If I need to talk about deep deep issues and frustrations, I go to my Dad. He listens and only says the necessary things here and there to really clear up my thoughts; he simplifies the confusing cloud hovering over my head. When I want to act silly or need a break from reality, I try and play with my nieces and nephews and when they're not around, I play with the dogs around me (because there's always one or two). They always seem to make me forget about every worry in my mind.

...Do you see the recurring theme, though? Family and my boyfriend, the ones I love the most, are the only ones really in my life right now (and my roommate, Amelia, who I have really gotten along really well here, but it's somewhat by default). Part of me is completely satisfied, completely happy, and completely confident that those are the only people I need. But the other part of me has always yearned for that one friend to call me their one friend and just be the person they go to and you go to them and never lose touch and never get bored when you're around each other.

That was my Maria, but when I moved, we sort of lost touch. She's not the kind of friend I would forget, and she's always the one I contact first when I hear news about the Bachelor, or when I hear some gossip about someone we went to Tech with. She texts me randomly too, but I wish she was a bigger part of my life like she was all throughout college. I think she will be later, though, because she's still in school and VERY VERY busy herself. We'll see.

In the meantime, I really need to be trying to close my eyes. Maybe tomorrow I can leave work on time. I think a few people I work with are going down to Continental (Rosslyn's only bar, but it's a fun with good happy hours) for a drink after work, so I want to join them. Then I will need to come home and do some laundry because I don't have any clean underwear! (TMI? Nobody reads this anyway, so I don't think I have anything to worry about, ha ha.)

Wish me luck :)

Worst day followed by a good day

Yesterday...for lack of better words...SUCKED SO BAD!! I was working and working and working and helping other people with their work and heard a nasty comment from a coworker towards me about how I was expecting not to stay late last night and I just left work at 10pm and cried and cried and cried and just spilled ALL OF IT onto Anthony. Poor guy. And although I am still hurting from yesterday, mentally and physically, I woke up and had a pretty good day.

I woke up earlier than usual, went to Starbucks to get a chai tea latte, found a lucky penny in my coat pocket (I know it was lucky because I put the pennies I find face up on the sidewalk on my pockets sometimes), I spent the whole day surveying on site with my friend and coworker, Srun, got back to work to help her finish drawings that are due to our client tomorrow, walked home at the same time with another coworker, Carlos, that lives in my complex at 8pm, and grabbed a Blue Moon with lots and lots of oranges!

So I'm sitting here at home, watching TV, eating Amelia's leftover guacamole (yummmmmmmmmmmy) that she and her date wasn't going to eat! Ha ha. Tomorrow is going to be my designated productive day, after a happy hour with a few people from work!

Sunday

Well, it's Sunday, and what have I been doing for the past three days? Sleeping, taking medicine, laying on the couch watching TV, and doing absolutely nothing! I feel a bit better today, though, but I'm still really stopped up and tired. Back to work tomorrow...can't say I'm 100% excited, honestly. It's been so nice having a break from my long hours and stressful deadlines!

I can't wait to get better, though, because there are so many things on my to do list! For one, I really need to organize my life! I have so many things I need to donate to the good will and I have a lot of things to unpack from Christmas/New Orleans. Then, I am excited to make some Cake Pops after getting the new book for Christmas from Andrea, Marty, Rachael, and Katie, and I also need to start running to train for my potential half marathon in June, and I really really need to go hang out with my new friend, Ashley, soon!! Ah! So much to do when I feel better...

Couch Potato

Sitting on this couch is so dangerous!! Not only did I end up buying the Cupcake Diaries book, but I also bought Baking With the Cake Boss, written by Buddy on TLC, and Jelly Shot Test Kitchen: Jell-ing Classic Cocktails-One Drink at a Time for fun!! The jello shot book was written by the woman in charge of this blog:

http://jelly-shot-test-kitchen.blogspot.com/

Now, don't tell me those recipes don't look like fun to make for parties!!

Bought everything through Amazon today, and didn't spend more than $15 on each book, minus the $3ish dollars it cost to ship them to me. Thaaank you, Amazon!

So the next time I am laying on the couch all day, I'll have 3 new books to read!
I'm really super excited for these to be delivered...

Sick Puppy

I have been one sick puppy today. Haven't taken my cupcake pajamas off since yesterday after work! OK minus my hot shower I took last night to open up my sinuses. Woke up at 8am today feeling absolutely awful (I can't remember the last time I was this sick), so I decided to stay home from work to rest.

I fell instantly back to sleep and didn't wake up again until 1pm! I relocated to the couch in the living room but haven't moved much since, except to warm up some chicken noodle soup! I have been coughing stuff up out of my throat all day, so it's a really good thing I didn't go to work today. I would've grossed everyone out, including myself. Haha.

I ordered the new Cupcake Diaries book, written by the Georgetown Cupcake sisters, today too. So productive! I have been debating whether or not to buy it, but I found a good deal on one on Amazon! What would I do without Amazon!?

I canceled all my apartment tours tomorrow and have made the executive decision not to look for apartments again until April or May.

Next goal? Find an inexpensive cake decorating and baking class close to me! I think I have one or two leads...

New Orleans

Spent the first few days in none other than the Big Easy, New Orleans (Naw-lins): the only city in the world where you see more neon feathers on the sidewalks than cigarette butts.

What did we do for those three days? Walk a lot, tour a bit around the city, drank some Abita beers (pretty much the only one on draft there but their Amber Ale was good) and their famous Hurricanes, window shop on Bourbon Street, and listen to a lot and a lot of live bands. Most of which were either waaay too loud but every one of them were really good, that's for sure.

Surprisingly, I didn't see any boobies, only saw two strippers on the street trying to get us to go see them perform (they weren't cute), and one tranny which actually resembled the Hokie Bird in a weird, strange way. Touche to the Michigan man who said, "That isn't one of your cheerleaders, is it?"

OK now to the subject of the game. ...................

...that was totally a catch, Coale. Even Michigan knew it...

Anyway, had a great time, saw lots of the city, and what did I come back with as souvenirs? A few extra pounds and a cold!

Working for four hours today was actually a huge struggle. My throat hurts, my nose is running, my coughs are rumbling out of my chest, and have had the chills since 4pm! I left work a half hour early because I was so miserable, came right home and set up camp.

More specifically Courtney Doesn't Like Being Sick At All Camp: full of cough drops, chicken noodle soup, saltines, ginger ale, tissues, vicks, day/nightquil, emer-gen-c, hand sanitizer, all dressed in my brand new cupcake pajamas (compliments of Cyndy), sitting on the couch with my comforter and pillow from my room.

H-e-a-v-e-n!

It's 2012!!

I absolutely looooove entering a new year. Not only do you get to reinvent yourself, but you get to start fresh. And yes, of course I make resolutions. Or as Anthony says: "false promises." Eh, they're fun nevertheless.

1. Start writing my fiction novel
2. Bake more and take classes to help me grow the hobby
3. Run ...or walk... a half marathon
4. Be more open minded and adventurous
5. Worry less about things that haven't happened and about things that are out of my control

I bet there were more, but I can't remember them. Just not have been very important. Ha!

So I bet you're wondering how I began my year so far.... Started my day off right by meeting an old friend for coffee, but then ate a huge, sloppy burger and tons and tons of fries from wendys on our way to charlotte for our flight to see the vt football bowl game! Good thing eating better isn't one of my resolutions!